Politically Correct in a Crazy World

Today should be my official ORD,however thanks to the government helping to reduce that 2 months,I managed to ORD in December.

Many of them asked me with a kind of suspicious look in their face:What did the army teaches me?Because in church I'm always been very crazy with my friends and thus suspect that army teach me to be a crazy person.

No.

For this post,I shall compile some of what army teaches me.For Kelvin,Joshua and Eugene,maybe this can be a guideline for you all,especially for Kelvin who is going to army in around 20 days time.

1.Army brings out the more of you

In army,vulgarities is unavoidable.In every sentence or 2,you may have 2-3 sets of vulgarities comes out of your mouth.

Vulgarities is somehow a short-cut language in army actually.For example:

When someone is blocking your way,instead of saying,"I'm sorry will you please excuse me by moving aside while I need to get to the other side."

You'll be saying,"F*** Off!".Short and sweet.

2.Army Lingos and Jargon

Army teaches us new languages that we've never heard before.You'll learn something like 5BX(5 basic exercises) and magical rounds.

From this conversation,see if you can identify some of the lingos and jargon.

Alfa,bravo,charlie are waiting for Delta outside Orchard MRT.

Delta:Sorry I'm late.

Alfa:What the heck?You know what time is it already?

Delta:Paiseh,I reveille at 1030.Then I found out that my clock is spoiled.

Bravo:Wah lao,your handphone cannot use meh?

Delta:Aiyah,don't talk this lah.Where's Echo?MIA issit?

Charlie:He got a sprained ankle,so he had to attend C at home.

Delta:Huh?Wah lao he cannot make it lah.So easily pikachu?!

Charlie:Aiyah,he yesterday dunno play soccer with his friend then turn like that loh.

Bravo:Ok let's make a move.Where shall we settle?

Alfa:Guys shall we go to this XXX restaurant?

Charlie:Ok swee! want to eat the food there.Where shall we go?

Delta:I know I know.1st we skirt around this area then bash through this area.

Bravo:Eh you sure anot?You know how to topo anot?Wait you holand how?

Delta:Trust me lah.

Alfa:Eh,guys.2 o'clock,100,girl beside pillar chio leh!

Bravo:Wah lao where got chio.

Charlie:Yah loh.Let me see this kind of shit.

Delta:I rather see that girl next to her.She makes my rifle rusok senja tah leh.hehe.

Alfa:Wah seh.You want to stand by bed with her issit?

Bravo:Eh guys.Come we don't waste time.Let's go!



But people who didn't serve the army catch no ball when someone in army talk to him/her like that.It's like an alien talking to me in alien language.

3.Army trains you to be tougher

Before you enlist in army,you are slack like a piece of sofe dough.You did zero for your pull-ups,run worse than an aunties and stamina that can't even last you a 1 hour of soccer and basketball.

When you enlist in army,things changed.You can do 10 pull-ups within 1 month,run 3km and you find that this is just a warm-up and better still,you can even play a 2 hours of soccer and basketball together,no sweat.

Best of all,army is better than those slim-fit beauty centre or tummy trim and extreme X.With less than a month,you will lose 5kg without using any money.Success guaranteed.

4.Army makes you a man

And yes,everybody agrees.Before army,you are so slack at home and a couch potato TV addict that gives your mother nothing but headache.

But once in army,you became much more understanding.You started to do house chores like sweeping the floor and clean the toilet.

And by the way,the term of being a man means becoming more understanding and more obedient.

5.Army makes you a spending person

Even though you earn quite less in your recruit time,you still spend your money like there's no tomorrow.Simply because time is so precious to you and you really want to spend your money in a civilian way until your next book-in in 2 days time.



In fact,there are so many ways army can change you.For those going to army,it's advisable that you don't take my points too seriously.Just go in and taste it yourself.